My hives both sent me this email yesterday...has anyone seen this problem yet?
Dear human,
We the bees of Roo and Star hive declare our intention to recind the previous agreement we have with you and will no longer be requiring your services. In light of the problems our sisters around the globe are having with so called CCD, we have decided to incorporate ourselves. For years now, you humans have argued with each other over how best to provide beekeeping services. Fads have come and gone, mistakes made, and quite frankly we have paid the price. We have been patient. You have moved us to overly polluted mono crops, stressing us out beyond belief. Plied us with chemicals and concoctions, and stolen our honey and replaced it with lower grade foodstuffs. When our southern sisters have risen up in protest their rebellion and queens have been squashed. They have been labelled "africanized", and grossly mistreated because they don't conform to human expectations. I mean really, its ok for one or two of ours to get squished with each hive opening but one of your own getting popped and whoa! Kill the queen! Gas the hive.
For a long while now we have been listening to your debate about CCD and quite frankly its going nowhere. All the while we continue to die. Your scientists have to frame our demise in economic cost TO YOU, to even get funding for health care or research money. Some among us have headed back down south to join the armed rebellion. Others of us who have watched and listened to the debates have realized that if you can't beat em join em. In this spirit we have decided we will no longer be known as managed colonies, and instead are incorporating ourselves. We noticed that with you humans, that basically is the best guarantee of our interests. We have filed patents on certain plant species and you will notice that you have been served notice that you are not to be in possession of/or allowed to manipulate the genetics of those said plants unless you pay us a user fee. We also are prohibiting you from our corporate headquarters (formerly known as a hive). We have a business to run, and basically your intrusions have reduced our productivity to levels that are hurting our bottom line.
We regret to inform you therefore that your services are no longer needed and we request that you adhere to the restraining order we have filed or our lawyers will file suit. Respectfully, The BEES