Knock, knock.
Who?s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.
What do Christmas trees get when they?re ill?
Tinselitus!
Why are Christmas trees more noticeable on Christmas?
They have more presence.
My cat has been nibbling on the Christmas tree?
She?s now coughing up fir balls!
What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?
Spruce Willis!
What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?
Christmas be my lucky day!
Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?
Wood-row Wilson
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
Been nice gnawing you.
What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?
Fir he?s a jolly good fellow, fir he?s a jolly good fellow?
How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?
One, because then the farm isn?t empty anymore.
What do Christmas tree?s wear at the pool?
Swim trunks.
Why don?t Christmas trees ever pollute?
They are ever green.
What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?
Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
What do you call it when Christmas tree?s boycott something?
A Christmas tree stand.
How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?
Look for the tree skirt.
Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?
The outside.
When do Christmas trees grow really big?
When they get enough rein, deer.
How can you get down from a Christmas tree?
You can?t? down comes from ducks.
Why can?t Christmas trees sew?
They always drop their needles.
What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
May the forest be with you.
What do ornaments do on Christmas trees.
Not much, they just hang out.
How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?
He saw it with his own two eyes.
Everyone likes decorating the Christmas tree, but taking it down confuses me?
It?s really disornamenting!
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A pineapple!
My Christmas tree was very happy when I removed the decorations from it.
It was absolutely de-lighted.
What do you call an ornament on a Christmas tree that is all by itself?
The Decoration of Independence.
My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.
Her plans have been foiled.
Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree?
He was a decorated veteran.
What do you call a Christmas tree without any decorations?
Ornamentally challenged.
What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?
Christmas chopping.
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
Topic: Christmas Tree (Read 402 times)