An 81-year-old man at the retirement home finally worked up courage to ask an 80-year-old woman out on a date. They watched "The Sound of Music" on tape in the home's rec room, and had a delightful dinner in the home's cafeteria.
After dinner, he asked if they could sip some Metamucil in her room and, after a while, they slipped into her bed for a romp.
After their lovemaking, he laid back in the bed and thought, "If only I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more gentle."
She laid back and thought, "If only I had thought he was up to it, I would have taken off my pantyhose."