WD, welcome to our forum, great you found us. Wow, what a story, I read with great interest. You clearly are held deeply under the spell of the honeybee (we all are). You have not given up on them, that is beautiful. That you studied so deeply and then got your equipment and bees, I think that is cool. I wish things had not gone badly for you, as they did. But you are still going to do well, I know that. The time will come when you again get bees, and your time with them in the past and the studying, and the realization of some mistakes you think you made, you will become a most wonderful beekeeper. Stick around, we love new members -- this will be a place where you can tell your stories, tales and experiences, make some new friends, and do more learning. Learning is a never ending story of our lives, and it is all good. Have the most wonderful of days, to love and live with great health. Cindi