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Author Topic: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂  (Read 1634 times)

Offline FloridaGardener

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #40 on: November 07, 2020, 05:45:55 pm »
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Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #41 on: November 07, 2020, 09:32:43 pm »
Hi Folks,

Give a man a duck,... and he^ll live for a day.

Teach a man to duck,... and he won^t walk into bars!


Salvo

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #42 on: November 08, 2020, 07:16:57 am »

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pastor fainted.

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #43 on: November 10, 2020, 11:19:35 pm »
Hi Folks,

What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Well. A hippo is a great big heavy animal.

A zippo is a little lighter.

Sal
Salvo

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #44 on: November 14, 2020, 08:18:38 am »
Hi Folks,

All right. You've seen the hippo/zippo....

Well riddle me this!

What is the difference between light and hard?

Sal
Salvo

Offline Michael Bush

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #45 on: November 16, 2020, 02:48:23 pm »
What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a scum sucking bottom feeder.
The other one is a fish.
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

Offline iddee

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #46 on: November 16, 2020, 06:54:25 pm »
Biden asked a 10 y/o boy if he wanted to talk about the presidency. The boy replied, I have a question for you. If a goat, a cow, and a horse eat the same grass from the same pasture, why does a cow feces make a patty, a horse feces the size of apples, and the goat feces like beans?
Biden said he really didn't know that one.

The boy then asked, "How do you expect to run the greatest country the world has ever known, if you don't know crap?
« Last Edit: November 16, 2020, 07:32:03 pm by sawdstmakr »
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #47 on: November 17, 2020, 04:59:28 am »
Hi Folks,

You can keep a light on all night.

Sal
Salvo

Offline Bob Wilson

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #48 on: November 22, 2020, 12:34:40 am »
Do you know why you never hear about a lawyer getting a snake bite?
Professional courtesy.

Offline Bob Wilson

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #49 on: November 22, 2020, 12:40:33 am »
A pastor was visiting an elderly lady, and sitting near the coffee table, he saw a bowl of peanuts. Perhaps he should have asked, but when she stepped away for a moment, he took a handful and munched away. After she returned, he confessed what he did and said he hoped it was OK. "Well," she replied, "you can if you want to. I've already sucked all the chocolate off them."