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Author Topic: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂  (Read 8490 times)

Offline Hops Brewster

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #60 on: March 03, 2021, 10:40:23 am »
A dung beetle walks into a bar.... "Is this your crap?"
Winter is coming.

I can't say I hate the government, but I am proudly distrustful of them.

Offline iddee

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #61 on: March 17, 2021, 08:55:52 pm »
A vasectomy
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keeps the worry out of being close.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2021, 02:44:24 pm by iddee »
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #62 on: March 25, 2021, 11:34:07 pm »
Hi Folks,

My neighbor got arrested today for growing pot.

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

Sal
Salvo

Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #63 on: March 26, 2021, 07:05:57 am »
 :embarassed:

Online The15thMember

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #64 on: March 26, 2021, 10:50:14 am »
Hi Folks,

My neighbor got arrested today for growing pot.

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

Sal
HA!!  :cheesy:
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline jimineycricket

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #65 on: March 26, 2021, 11:13:06 pm »
That sounds like some of the corn fields where I live. The farmers grow a lot of pot but they do not know it. :wink:
jimmy

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #66 on: March 27, 2021, 05:48:51 pm »
Hi Folks,

Land of Milk and Honey

[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]

https://www.fwi.co.uk/farm-life/somerset-farm-milking-horses-in-quirky-diversification

Sal


Salvo

Online The15thMember

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #67 on: March 27, 2021, 06:08:29 pm »
Hi Folks,

Land of Milk and Honey

 [ You are not allowed to view attachments ]

https://www.fwi.co.uk/farm-life/somerset-farm-milking-horses-in-quirky-diversification

Sal

This isn't funny, it's awesome!  :grin:  Although I question the article's assertion that mare's milk is easy for human's to digest because horses and humans have a single stomach, whereas cows have multi-chambered stomachs.  It's my understanding that in baby ruminants the milk bypasses the rumen anyway and is only digested by their "normal" stomach.     
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline Ben Framed

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #68 on: March 27, 2021, 10:09:07 pm »
I have heard of folks drinking goat milk and eating goat cheese but I know nothing of the goats stomach. So I guess the laugh is on me! lol
For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #69 on: March 28, 2021, 09:13:26 pm »
Hi Folks,

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

?Miss Beatrice?, he said. ?I wonder if you would tell me about this?? pointing to the bowl.

?Oh, yes? she replied, ?isn?t it wonderful? I was walking through the park late last Summer and I found this little package on the ground.?

?The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven?t caught the Covid or even had the flu all Winter?

Sal

Salvo

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #70 on: April 01, 2021, 09:16:08 pm »
Hi Folks,

This country is going to the dogs:



Sal
Salvo


Offline Dabbler

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #72 on: April 14, 2021, 03:39:31 pm »
I enjoyed it Salvo !

 It did take me a minute to spell out the acronym.    . . .  But then, I am slow :wink:
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the tests first, the lessons afterwards .
-Vernon Sanders Law

Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #73 on: April 14, 2021, 10:29:56 pm »
It's a joke! It's just a joke!
Salvo are you sure about that.
Jim Altmiller

Offline Ben Framed

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #74 on: April 16, 2021, 12:14:23 am »
It's a joke! It's just a joke!
Salvo are you sure about that.
Jim Altmiller

 :wink:
For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

Offline Ben Framed

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #75 on: April 17, 2021, 02:53:44 am »
Billy really is a hoot on and off the stage. 


For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #76 on: April 17, 2021, 09:22:24 am »
Hi Folks,

Another joke:

[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]

Sal
Salvo

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #77 on: April 18, 2021, 05:55:01 pm »
Hi Folks,

My best friend's son, after seven years of med school and training has been fired after ONE minor indiscretion. He had a physical relationship with one of his patients, and can no longer work in his chosen field.

It just goes to show you how just ONE mistake can ruin your whole life.

Please pray for him. He's one of the best veterinarians I know.

Sal
Salvo

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #78 on: May 02, 2021, 12:06:34 pm »
Hi Folks,

Schadenfreude is a German word meaning: To take pleasure, joy, GLEE from another persons misfortune. Sorta like when people laugh when someone slips and falls on a banana peel.

This is a GREAT one. Guy fights back at gas station. Funny as a [insert your word here]. Anyone got a match?:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9534677/Got-Thieves-abort-petrol-station-robbery-car-owner-fights-spraying-fuel.html

Sal

Salvo

Offline salvo

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Re: Ok Friends, time for a new clean joke! 🙂
« Reply #79 on: May 04, 2021, 11:17:42 pm »
Hi Folks,

Have you ever been crazy about someone ^back in the day^, only to see them now and think ^I'm glad I missed that ship^.

Yeah. But every morning when I look in the mirror, I just shake my head and ask Who's that guy?

Sal
Salvo