Jean-Paul Sartre walks into a bar and orders a cup of coffee, with no cream. The bartender replies, I?m sorry, but we?re out of cream. How about with no milk?
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Rene Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender says "Martini?" and Descartes says "I think not!" and poof! He disappears.
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Heisenberg was also sitting at the bar. After Descartes vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, "Did you see that?" Heisenberg replied, "I can't be certain."
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The bartender then noticed Einstein was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. Einstein replied, "It's all relative."
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Carl Sagan was there. He walked over to him and asked, "Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?" Sagan replied, "No. Why, there must be BILLIONS and BILLIONS of bars out there."
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Meanwhile, Gustav Hertz was having such a great time, that he promised to return in the future at a much greater frequency.
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Robert Boyle commented that he thought everyone was under too much pressure to come up with an answer to what was happening.
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Erwin Schr?dinger tried to explain that in the absence of an observer, Descartes left but at the same time did not leave.
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Alexander Volta disagreed stating there was a potential difference between his staying or going.
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James Watt had had a bad day and said he had come in just to let off a little steam.
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Charles Darwin was waiting to see what would evolve.
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Thomas Edison stated that he found the whole thing illuminating.
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Andre Ampere helped the bartender ascertain that all the statements were kept current.
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Eli Whitney said, "I believe I will have another gin."
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Sir Isaac Newton pondered the gravity of the situation.
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Robert Goddard said the situation was not rocket science.
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Archimedes didn't participate. He was out having a screw.
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Georg Ohm, though he resisted answering, did provide a tasty treat for the crowd. Everyone loved Ohm's Slaw.
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Max Karl Ernst Ludwig Planck thought it a constant drain of energy to contemplate the disappearance.
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Gaston Plante thought Descartes should be put in a cell for battery.
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William Sturgeon and Joseph Henry made a good gauss at where Descartes had gone.
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Johann Salomo, Christoph Schweigger, and Jacques Arsene d'Arsonval were galvanized into instant action.
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Both Mr. and Mrs. Curie thought that Descartes had a radiating personality, even after his disappearance.
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Nicola Tesla re-coiled at the sight.
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Werner Heisenberg, Kurt G?del, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, "Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it?s funny or not?" G?del replies, "We can?t know that because we?re inside the joke." Chomsky says, "Of course it?s funny. You?re just telling it wrong."
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A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says "Dry?" and the German says, "Nein, just one".
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A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please."
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Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a martini'?" "Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"
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An infectious disease walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve infectious diseases here." And the infectious disease says, "Well you're not a very good host."
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Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here." And the bacteria says, "But we work here. We're staph."
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A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"
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A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
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Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
