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Author Topic: Serenade for the Sick and the Shut-ins  (Read 156 times)

Offline salvo

  • House Bee
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  • Posts: 349
Serenade for the Sick and the Shut-ins
« on: April 17, 2020, 02:12:35 pm »
Hi Folks,

If you got a good one, one that we'll all get a kick out of, post it here (IDEE. See lyrics below):

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=SONG+HOLE+IN+THE+BOTTOM+PRINE&docid=608008085597850616&mid=B795952C58DF8BC3752BB795952C58DF8BC3752B&view=detail&FORM=VIRE



Here's the story of a man and his family
And a big trip that they took
Well, I heard all about in a restaurant
And I read it in a history book

They rented a car at the Erie Canal
But the car didn't have no brake
Said ma to pa "My God this car
Is gonna fall into the bottomless lake"

Well, mama turned to daddy with a pale face
Said "I've done something horribly wrong
Well, the waters still runnin' in the bathtub
And I think I left the kitchen light on"

Then I heard a crash, the car when splash
The compass rolled around and around
Oh, for Heaven's sake! We fell in a lake
And I think we're all gonna drown

We are falling down
Down to the bottom of a hole in the ground
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
I'm so scared, I can hardly breathe
I may never see my sweetheart again

There was plenty of food in the backseat
And the windows were rolled up tight
So we all nibbled on a chicken leg
Told stories way thru the night

Well, pa told one that he told before
And the baby got a bellyache
Said ma to pa "My God this car's
Falling down a bottomless lake"

We are falling down
Down to the bottom of a hole in the ground
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
I'm so scared, I can hardly breathe
I may never see my sweetheart again

Well papa played the music on the radio
Mama rocked the baby to sleep
He said, he would've taken the other road
But he didn't think the lake was that deep

Well, if the ferry had been there at the end of the pier
We'd be half way to Uncle Jake's
Instead of looking at fish out the window, I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the bottomless lake

'Stead of looking at fish out the window, I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the bottomless lake

We are falling down
Down to the bottom of a hole in the ground
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
I'm so scared, I can hardly breathe
I may never see my sweetheart again

So if you're ever goin' on a big trip
You better be careful out there
Start everything on your good foot
Wear clean underwear

Take along a Bible in the backseat
Read of David and Solomon
For if you make a mistake in the bottomless lake
You may never see your sweetheart again

If you should make a mistake in the bottomless lake
You may never see your sweetheart again
If you should make a mistake in the bottomless lake
You may never see your sweetheart again, that's right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: John E. Prine

Sal
Salvo

Offline iddee

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 10077
  • Gender: Male
Re: Serenade for the Sick and the Shut-ins
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2020, 02:59:51 pm »
Critical Advisory: 8 PM is now the official time to remove your day pajamas and put your night pajamas on.

Kinda feeling like the Earth just sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done.

What if they close the grocery stores? We'll have to hunt for our food. I don't even know where Doritos live...

I didn't plan to give up quite this much for Lent.

If you see me talking to myself this week, mind your own business. I'm having a parent-teacher conference.

Who the heck put virus and allergy season in the same month? I don't know if I should buy Zyrtec or turn myself into the CDC.

Curious...does anyone happen to know which hunger games district we're in?

Can we please just follow the government instructions so we can knock this COVID-19 out and be done? I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing recess time because one or two kids can't follow instructions!

PSA: Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe that all is well in the kingdom!

I'm having a quarantine party this weekend. None of you are invited.

Homeschooling is going well...two students suspended for fighting, and one teacher fired for drinking on the job.

Somewhere out there is a kid that brought home the class hamster for the weekend. Their parents are not happy!

I asked a Walmart worker where I could find the nuts. He said, "in the toilet paper aisle."

If the schools are closed for too long, the parents are gonna find a vaccine before the scientists!

?We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone?s true hair color.?

?Apparently, this year is being written by Stephen King.?

?You might as well go ahead and pronounce the ?L? in ?salmon.? Nothing matters anymore.?

?Day 2 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she?s my wife. Seems nice.?

?Like a good neighbor, stay over there.?

?If you self-quarantine for your family?s safety, please be smart. I cannot afford to go to 15 baby showers in December.?

?Actually, it?s only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France; otherwise it?s just sparkling isolation.?

?I?d hate to see a diarrhea virus break out right now. People would buy up all the nasal spray.?

On a photo of empty store shelves: ?Y?all have Walmart looking like the Cleveland Browns? trophy case.?

Atop a drawing of Keith Richards holding a cigarette: ?Corona virus barometer. If he goes, we all go.?

With a photo of a guy wearing a medical mask and looking out a window: ?Day 6 of no sports Watching birds fight over worms. Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.?

Over a photo of a guy wearing a plain white T-shirt: ?2020 NCAA Champions Shirts, $19.95.?

Above a photo of a hand with words written all over the palm in ink: ?I washed my hands so much that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced.?

?Back in the day, there was so much toilet paper that people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies.?

?Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly .. next week, turn signals.?

?You know that stash of fast-food napkins in your glove-box? It?s their turn to shine.?

Over a photo of Rod Serling: ?Imagine no restaurants, bars, concerts or sports. You just entered The Twilight Zone.?

*** Keep smiling, laughing and be safe. We'll get through this. ***


Follow Ups:
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*