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Author Topic: My Lazy Glock  (Read 420 times)

Offline sawdstmakr

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My Lazy Glock
« on: April 17, 2019, 07:52:21 pm »

 
Today, I placed my Glock pistol on the table right next to my front door.  I left its clip beside it, then left it alone and went about my business.
 
While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor's son across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the "stop" sign near the front of my house.
 
After a couple of hours had passed, I checked on the gun, and it was quietly sitting there right where I had left it.  It had not moved itself outside It had not killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do that.  In fact, it had not even loaded itself.
 
Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the hype by the Left and the media, about how dangerous guns are and "How They" kill people.  Either the media is wrong, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.
 
The United States is 3rd in murders throughout the world.  But if you take out just 5 'Left-wing' cities (Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC, St Louis, and New Orleans) the United States is 4th from the bottom, in the ENTIRE world, for murders.
 
These 5 cities are controlled by Democrats.  They also have the toughest gun control laws in the USA.  It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this data, right?
 
Well, I'm off to check on my spoons.  I hear they're making people fat!
 

Offline Michael Bush

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2019, 10:22:44 am »
>Well, I'm off to check on my spoons.  I hear they're making people fat!

Be sure to check the matches so they aren't committing arson, and make sure you car isn't driving drunk...  Also, while you're at it, check to see if your pencils are causing mispellings...
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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Offline Sputnik

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2019, 10:45:36 am »
My Glock 21 is pretty lazy as well. Just stays in the night stand with a extra 26 round mag. It only comes out when Lucie dog tells me to wake up and see what is going on outside.
 Most of the time it is deer eating the wife's rose blooms.

Offline Skeggley

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2019, 08:55:56 pm »
I guess the fact you feel you need a loaded gun in the house at all pretty much says it all. Jus sayin.
I'm off to put a lock on my kitchen drawers now, thanks.

Online iddee

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2019, 09:39:37 pm »
In my house?? I have one in my pocket, wherever I go. Do you have insurance because you expect to use it daily?
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2019, 11:10:45 pm »
In my house?? I have one in my pocket, wherever I go. Do you have insurance because you expect to use it daily?
X2

Offline Sputnik

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2019, 09:11:26 am »
I guess the fact you feel you need a loaded gun in the house at all pretty much says it all. Jus sayin.
I'm off to put a lock on my kitchen drawers now, thanks.
I also keep a fire extinguisher upstairs, downstairs, and in vehicle.

Offline salvo

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2019, 09:58:00 pm »
Hi Folks,

I got a big smile out of this today. I didn't want to start a new thread. It does reference Glock:


Let us  bow our heads.

"In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was the
pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said,
thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for
it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and
lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the
Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of
foul implements upon it, and profane its internal
parts, thou shalt surely fail and have malfunctions,
and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to
harm.

And as the ages passed, men in their ignorance and
arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began
to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did
place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases
upon the 1911, and their metalsmiths didst tighten the
tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their
clarity of mind being clouded by lust.

The artisans did hang all manner of foul implements
upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became
impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans did
charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so
that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And
the profaning of the internal parts didst render it
unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it. And
lo, they did install adjustable sights, which are an
abomination unto the Lord, for they doth break and
lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And
those who have done so will be slain in great numbers
by their enemies in the great battle.

And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the
abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as He had
warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the
abominations and upon the artisans who thought they
could do no wrong.

Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the
Lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to
further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made
of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and
felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded,
they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy
vast quantities of them.

And being a deceitful spirit the Devil did make these
plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth
and they were unable to muck much with the design, and
lo these pistols did function.

And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which
the trigger didst both bleep and fire them, and which
require a 'Dingus' to make them appear safe.

But man being stupid did not understand these new
pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the
plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols,
for lo, their manual of arms required great
intelligence which man had long since forsaken.

Yet man did not repent of his evil ways, but continued
to gloat over these new pistols blaming Satan for the
negligent discharges which they themselves had
committed.

And when man had been totally ensnared with the
plastic pistol the Devil didst cause a plague of the
terrible Ka-BOOM to descend upon man and the plastic
pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And
there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the
land.

Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being
opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful
misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form
of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the
Prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911's to
their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement
of men they didst begin to work as the Prophet
intended."

Amen

Sal
Salvo

Online Ben Framed

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Re: My Lazy Glock
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2019, 01:13:28 am »
In my house? Do you have insurance because you expect to use it daily?
X2
X3