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Author Topic: George Burns  (Read 290 times)

Offline Michael Bush

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George Burns
« on: March 21, 2019, 10:44:04 am »
"I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We?re about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods."--George Burns (Dr Burn's Prescription for Happiness)

"In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it."--George Burns

"Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you love to do for the rest of the day is beyond words. I'd rather be a failure in something I love than be successful in something I hate."--George Burns

"There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up."--George Burns

Announcer: Many people say that Gracie is responsible for George being
where he is today. And that's certainly true. Gracie is also
responsible for Sam Spade being where he is today. You see, George and
Sam Spade are both in jail. How did it happen? Well, let's listen as
George is being questioned by a police lieutenant (played by Joseph

Regan: Alright, let's start at the top. Name?
Burns: George Burns.
Regan: Occupation?
Burns: I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: No. No, no. What do you do? What keeps you busy?
Burns: I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: Let me put it this way. What's your source of income?
Burns: I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: Alright, skip it. What's your age?
Burns: Approximately 42.
Regan: How come you look older?
Burns: I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: What's your address?
Burns: 360 North Camden.
Regan: Alright, Burns, now suppose you tell me why you're in this jam.
Burns: I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: You're in a rut. Hey, Spade, how come you're in this jam?
Spade: He's married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: You know, Burns, you and this Spade character are accused of murder.
Now suppose you tell me the whole story right from the start.
Burns: Okay, Lieutenant. It all started last Sunday night. I was sitting home
listening to the radio with my wife... I'm married to Gracie Allen.
Regan: ...to Gracie Allen. Yes. That part I know. Take it from there.
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