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Author Topic: This would be true in Cider's perfect world  (Read 539 times)

Offline iddee

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This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« on: November 14, 2018, 09:12:16 pm »
 I received this in an e-mail. I had to share it.

It snowed last night.

8:00 a.m. I built a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I built a snow woman.

8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just build one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist, because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burka.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up.
I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs? I am now called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding that I be beheaded.

Moral:

There is no moral to this story.
It's just a view of the world in which we live today and it is only getting worse.

So very sad!!
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline herbhome

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Re: This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2018, 09:49:36 pm »
Careful, taking away the snow woman's broomstick might offend the witchcraft community! :smile:
Neill

Offline blackforest beekeeper

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Re: This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2018, 02:33:40 am »
sort of funny. I will go for the snow woman this year maybe just to conjure a big smile on my ladies face.

Offline cidersabuzzin

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Re: This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2018, 04:32:08 am »
I received this in an e-mail. I had to share it.

It snowed last night.

8:00 a.m. I built a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I built a snow woman.

8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just build one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist, because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burka.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up.
I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs? I am now called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding that I be beheaded.

Moral:

There is no moral to this story.
It's just a view of the world in which we live today and it is only getting worse.

So very sad!!
09:35  Fox News arrived asked why I had not put up a fence and charged onlookers a fee. Reporter accused me of being a Socialist, he said the potential for gain was endless with all those children out there.

Moral:  Be altruistic and the fake news will jump on you! :wink: :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy:   
What's good for bees is usually good for mankind. Doesn't that mean sharing?

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be, as long as you elect sane politicians who are not embarrassed about their hair" with apologies to SS

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2018, 07:00:38 am »
I guess I am lucky that it only snows every 30 years or so. 🤗
Jim

Offline blackforest beekeeper

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Re: This would be true in Cider's perfect world
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2018, 08:39:12 am »
I guess I am lucky that it only snows every 30 years or so. 🤗
Jim
that would suit me just fine, too, believe me...