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Author Topic: You Might be Redneck if.......  (Read 2445 times)

Offline BigRog

  • House Bee
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You Might be Redneck if.......
« on: October 07, 2004, 06:16:28 pm »
The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.
You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.
You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.
The strongest smell in your house is butane.
Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
You think paprika is a Third World country.
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
"Lurch my good man,…what did you mean when you said just now that 'You've got better things to do than run my petty little errands'…….?"