Welcome, Guest
Login or Register
Home
« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Run o' the Mill Jokes  (Read 1159 times)

Offline Salvo

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1446
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2024, 02:29:02 pm »
Can one print a joke with the word *boobies* here?

Asking for a friend.

Sal
Logged

Online Ben Framed

  • Global Moderator
  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 12951
  • Mississippi Zone 7
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2024, 02:47:25 pm »
Quote
Wife: (response censored due to by-laws)

 Good job animal!  :cheesy: :wink: :grin:

Logged
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2024, 03:17:41 pm »
Quote from: Salvo on May 24, 2024, 02:29:02 pm
Can one print a joke with the word *boobies* here?

Asking for a friend.

Sal
My guess is that what he typoed/(I said) set him off ... 'cause nobody wants to see that.
I can't imagine why anyone would not want to see *boobies*... well, unless they're iddee's boobies (or mine :shocked:). Then again, don't think I want to see yours either.  :cheesy:
... looks to me like you got away with it ...

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Offline Salvo

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1446
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2024, 05:47:31 pm »
All right! Here goes nutthin'.

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Warren to see about enlarging her breasts.

Dr Warren told her, "Everyday after your shower, rub your (that word here) and say, 'Scooby, doobie, doobies, I want bigger (that word here)."

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew great (that word here)!

One morning she was running late for work, got on the bus and realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely (that word here) if she didn't do the little rhyme, she got right out there in the aisle and started quietly chanting "Scooby, doobie, doobies, I want bigger (that word here)."

A guy sitting nearby asked, "Are you a patient of Dr. Warren's by any chance?"

"Why, yes, I am. How did you know?"

He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory, dickory, dock ... "
Logged

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2024, 08:57:51 pm »
and they all moved away from Sal on the group W bench ...
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Offline iddee

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 10873
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2024, 10:17:16 pm »
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Logged
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2024, 03:42:37 pm »
No shotgun blast from the mods, so ..

What kind of bees give milk?
boobees !

Why do mermaids wear seashells ?
because their boobs are too big for b shells

Size chart:
A ......Almost
B ......Barely
C ......Cool
D ......Dang !
DD.....Double dang !
DDD ... not really a name for the size, men are just stuttering
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Offline Salvo

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1446
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2024, 06:11:05 pm »
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the
door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an
old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first
the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his
shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall
down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing
both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt
underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and
hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says,"What the heck are you doing,
Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously
embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in
the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do 'something sexy to
a tractor'."
Logged

Offline The15thMember

  • Global Moderator
  • Galactic Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 4660
  • Gender: Female
  • Traveler of the Multiverse, Seeker of Knowledge
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2024, 06:16:01 pm »
Quote from: Salvo on May 24, 2024, 05:47:31 pm
All right! Here goes nutthin'.
Quote from: animal on May 25, 2024, 03:42:37 pm
No shotgun blast from the mods, so ..
Everything is within the rules at this point, but don't let this spiral out of control and get out of hand or too off-color.  Sal, you've had uncounted warnings and a suspension or two for going overboard on stuff like this, and that last post of yours is toeing the line in my opinion.  And animal, you do nothing but brag about your dirty mind.  So please stay within acceptable limits.  Have fun, but keep it clean, everybody!     
Logged
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2024, 08:08:03 pm »
sorry, just meant to display ... I'm flattered that you took it as bragging, though.

also sorry that my last jokes have been so old, it's hard to stay a breast of the new ones.
I've been working on a new nipple joke, but it still needs more tweaking.


edit: and I can sort of understanding Sal getting suspended in the past ... as I am also supportive of his brand of humor.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2024, 08:29:54 pm by animal »
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Offline The15thMember

  • Global Moderator
  • Galactic Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 4660
  • Gender: Female
  • Traveler of the Multiverse, Seeker of Knowledge
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2024, 09:25:12 pm »
Quote from: animal on May 25, 2024, 08:08:03 pm
also sorry that my last jokes have been so old, it's hard to stay a breast of the new ones.
I've been working on a new nipple joke, but it still needs more tweaking.
Hardy har.
Logged
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Online Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 19991
  • Gender: Male
    • bushfarms.com
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #31 on: May 30, 2024, 07:49:58 am »
A scientist found he could keep his dolphins alive forever if he only fed them seabirds. He went out and caught some, but, when he returned his lab, was shocked to find a lion sleeping right in front of the entrance. With no other way in, he summoned up his courage, tucked the birds under each arm, ran, jumped over the lion and into the lab. Immediately, agents from the FBI ran up and arrested him.

The charge?

"Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises"
Logged
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
-------------------
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #32 on: May 30, 2024, 01:18:55 pm »
A guy walks into a bar with a baby seal.

Bartender says "I have just what you need!"

and hands him a Canadian Club.
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Online Ben Framed

  • Global Moderator
  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 12951
  • Mississippi Zone 7
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #33 on: May 30, 2024, 10:32:11 pm »
 :grin: :grin:
Logged
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2024, 11:12:46 pm »
A Jewish guy is really troubled and upset so he goes to his rabbi and spills it : "You're never gonna believe what happened to me! My son left home to see and experience the world and came back a Christian!"
Rabbi says, "You're never gonna believe what happened to me! My son left home to see and experience the world and he also came back a Christian!"
Not knowing what else to do, they start praying to God about their troubles.
God answers,"You're never gonna believe what happened to me! ..."
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)

Online Terri Yaki

  • Super Bee
  • *****
  • Posts: 1801
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #35 on: May 31, 2024, 09:02:13 am »
.
Logged

Offline BeeMaster2

  • Administrator
  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 13646
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #36 on: May 31, 2024, 09:13:29 am »
Terri,
At first I thought that was a picture of I-10 and US301. Same problem. Only difference is hopefully they wi bee done soon.
Jim Altmiller
Logged
Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Online animal

  • Queen Bee
  • ****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Run o' the Mill Jokes
« Reply #37 on: May 31, 2024, 11:36:45 am »
I just assumed Florida highways were under perpetual construction  :cheesy:
based on every time I've driven through.
I think Mississippi highways are laid  complete ... and including new potholes from time of construction
Logged
Avatar pic by my oldest daughter (ink and watercolor)
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
« previous next »