Chinese Sex

[BeeMaster2]

 
While in China , an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his male organ covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, ?I?ve got bad news for you, you?ve contracted Mongolian VD. It?s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.?

The man looks a little perplexed and says, ?Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.?

The doctor answers, ?I?m sorry, there's no known cure. We?re going to have to amputate your male organ.?

The man screams in horror, ?Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!?

The doctor replies, ?Well, it?s your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option.?

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he?ll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his male organ and proclaims, ?Ah, yes, Mongolian VD.  Vewy ware disease.?

The guy says to the doctor, ?Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my male organ!?

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. ?Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!?

?Oh, thank God!? the man exclaims.

?Yes,? says the Chinese doctor. ?Wait two week. Fall off by itself!?

 

 

 

 

[mikecva]

 

[Michael Bush]

I first heard Buddy Hackett tell that on the Johnny Carson show.  No offense, but he told it better... :)  He followed it up with this one:

A guy goes into the doctor and the doctor asks him what the problem is.  He pulls down his pants and the doctor is aghast.  His member is all twisted and gnarled and red.  The Doctor asks if it hurts and the fellow says, yes, it hurts a lot especially during and after urinating.  So the doctor tells him to be very gentle and the guy asks how he's supposed to keep it from dripping and the doctor says, "just tap it out"  and the guy says, "what do you mean" and the doctor says, "just top on the tip a little and the last few drops should come out.  So the guy leaves and comes back in a month.  He drops his pants and the doctor says, "That's amazing! It looks normal!"  and the guy says "Yea.  All I did was what you said" and the doctor says "What did I say" and the guy says "you said to 'tap it out'" so I did.  And the doctor says "what did you do before?" and the guy grabs it, twists it like wringing a wash cloth and says "this!"....

[BeeMaster2]

 

[Switchback]

OMG!