A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
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A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans, walk into a bar. After scrutinizing the group, the bartender says "I'm sorry, but I can't let you come in here without a Thai."
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George R. R. Martin, Joss Whedon, and Steven Moffat walk into a bar and everyone you've ever loved dies.
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I woke up this morning, changed a light bulb walked across the street and into a bar and I realized, my whole life ...is a joke
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A man walks into a bar and orders ten times what everyone else is currently drinking.
The bartender exclaims: "Now, THAT'S an order of magnitude!"
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185 Lawyers walk into a bar.
Only 60% pass it.
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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"