What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?
Rick-O-Shea.
What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food?
Gaelic breath.
What do you call a huge Irish spider?
A Paddy-long-legs.
The barman says to Paddy, "Your glass is empty; fancy another one?"
Lookin? puzzled, Paddy says, "Why would i be needing two empty glasses?"
Mary says to Paddy "if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?"
"My uncle Mick" replies Paddy.
"What?s so special about him!?" asks Mary, feeling slighted.
"He?s got a boat," says Paddy.