Welcome, Guest

Author Topic: Where ever it fits ! !  (Read 2509 times)

Offline Geoff

  • Heavenly Beekeeper
  • Field Bee
  • ********
  • Posts: 918
  • Gender: Male
Where ever it fits ! !
« on: April 26, 2018, 08:48:58 pm »
 

 "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception,"    Groucho Marx once said.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Offline iddee

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 10853
  • Gender: Male
Re: Where ever it fits ! !
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2018, 09:40:52 pm »
Groucho also asked a woman why she had 10 or 12 kids. She said she liked kids.

He replied, "I like my cigar, too, but I take it out once in a while".

They cut his show off immediately over that one.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline BeeMaster2

  • Administrator
  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 13494
  • Gender: Male
Re: Where ever it fits ! !
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2018, 12:05:14 am »
Groucho also asked a woman why she had 10 or 12 kids. She said she liked kids.

He replied, "I like my cigar, too, but I take it out once in a while".

They cut his show off immediately over that one.
Now a days , they consider that a clean joke.
Jim
Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Offline Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 19832
  • Gender: Male
    • bushfarms.com
Re: Where ever it fits ! !
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 11:17:00 am »
>They cut his show off immediately over that one.

It was live TV back then.  The censors were not amused...
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
-------------------
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

Offline Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 19832
  • Gender: Male
    • bushfarms.com
Re: Where ever it fits ! !
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2022, 10:36:12 am »
>Groucho also asked a woman why she had 10 or 12 kids. She said she liked kids.
>He replied, "I like my cigar, too, but I take it out once in a while".
>They cut his show off immediately over that one.

I have that episode of "You Bet Your Life".  It's a guy and the conversation is more like this:
Groucho: Are you married?
Guy: Yes and I have 13 kids (I don't remember the exact number)
Groucho: Are you Catholic?
Guy: No, I'm Presbyterian
Groucho:  Why so many kids?
Guy:  I love my wife.
Groucho:  I love my cigars, but I know when to take them out.
(Immediate commercial...)

I miss live TV...
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
-------------------
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

Offline Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
  • *******
  • Posts: 19832
  • Gender: Male
    • bushfarms.com
Re: Where ever it fits ! !
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2022, 11:51:03 am »
Another live TV which ended another career.  Red Skelton and Stella Stevens doing a comedy sketch on The Red Skelton show. 

Red is playing a businessman standing at a bus stop reading the paper.  Stella is a housewife who just had her purses snatched.  She begs Red's character for some bus fare.  Red says there's probably some in his pocket, while continuing to read his paper and pretend to otherwise pay no attention.  Stella starts fishing around in Red's pocket and he starts squirming and making faces.  Stella says, I feel crazy doing this.  Red says, feel a little deeper and you'll feel nuts!  Commercial.
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
-------------------
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

 

anything