Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humor?
Laughayette!
JFK on how he became a war hero: "It was aboutely involuntary. They sank my boat."
"I know only two tunes: one of them is Yankee Doodle and the other isn't."--U.S. Grant
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."--Will Rogers
"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or ore is a congress."--John Adams
"These stories about my intellectual capacity really get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence Briefing.' "--George W. Bush joking at the Correspondents' Dinner
Bill Clinton speaking of the White House: "I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system."
Where does the president keep his razor? In The Cabinet.
"Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." -- Bill Clinton
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn't lie.
What do you call a basement full of politicians?
A whine cellar.
"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ? Ronald Reagan
What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes?
Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup.
What's the most popular automobile brand for presidents?
Lincoln.
What did they call George Washington's false teeth?
Presidentures.
Which rock group has four men who don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
How was George Washington able to be so healthy?
He had a strong constitution.
What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?
Get in the boat...
What did the Stamp Act do?
Helped Americans lick the British.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Libertea
Where did George Washington purchase his hatchet?
At a chopping mall.
What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A very, very old man.
If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get?
George Squashington.
Why didn't George Washington's father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?
Because George was still holding the axe...
Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence?
At the bottom...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abraham Lincoln .
Abraham Lincoln who?
Seriously? You must have done terrible in history class...
What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?
The fodder of our country...
Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?
For committing Valley Forgery...
What's the difference between a platypus and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
How did George Washington describe things?
In general terms.
Why was George Washington always pictured standing up?
Because he never lied.
Topic: Presidents' Day (Read 787 times)