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Author Topic: Customer Service  (Read 98 times)

Offline Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
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  • Gender: Male
    • bushfarms.com
Customer Service
« on: January 19, 2023, 11:44:20 am »
"I work in customer service, because I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault."

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

If the customer is always right, then why isn?t everything free?

The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.

A manager in the board meeting after poor customer reviews and brand reputation results. "If it gets worse, we may be forced to make reliable products and provide better customer service."

"A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. ?Sure,? I said, ?as long as you provide your own kennel.? I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: ?I?ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!?"

"We were stocking up on green beans at the farmers? market when we asked the young girl helping us for 15 pounds? worth. ?I can only sell you ten pounds of beans,? she said. ?Why?? I asked. ?Because my scale only goes up to ten pounds.?"

"Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train's engine fell silent. "I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced. "The bad news is we lost power." My fellow passengers groaned. "The good news," he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet.""

Customer Support: What does the screen say now?
Billy: It says, ?Hit ENTER when ready?.
Customer Support: Well?
Billy: How do I know when it?s ready?

"My Internet Service Provider is called Hathway....
Their customer service executive called, it was a woman. I asked if her first name is Anne, we laughed and now I have no internet."

"A man setting up his new printer called the printer?s tech support, and complained about an error message: ?Can?t find the printer.? He said he even held the printer up in front of the computer screen, but the computer was still unable to find it."

Waiter: How did you find the fish, Sir?
Customer: Quite by accident, I moved a few peas and there it was!

"I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. ?I?m sorry, I can?t,? she said. ?I already cut it in half.?"

"A customer called our rental store to ask about rectangular tables. I told him we had six-foot and eight-foot tables. His response: "What's the difference?""

"After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entr?e, is that a steak or a fillet?" "Neither," she said. "It's a fish.""

Client to designer: ?It doesn?t really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue.?

"When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, ?Sweetened or unsweetened?? Her answer: ?What?s the difference??"

"Days after we invaded Marja, Afghanistan, one of my Marines found out his wife hadn't paid the cell phone bill. He called the company and asked how he could settle up. "You can go to Western Union and place a money order," the billing agent told him. "Ma'am, I'm in Marja, Afghanistan," he explained. "We don't have Western Unions." "No problem. You can also go to Walmart.""
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin