Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats.
The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Michigan and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Michiganders reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Michigan, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Michiganders. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering.
The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Michiganders look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean. The Lions won the Super Bowl!"
What state is Lake Michigan in?
A liquid state
George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turnoff the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to hurry now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Over half the deer in Michigan has contracted covid.
More proof that not only has this disease cost a few bucks, but also a lot of doe.
We should split Michigan into two states
Mich and Mich Again.
What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?
Pb & J.
Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have?
Lead poisoning.
Michigan has updated their social distancing guidelines
Residents are now asked to stay one oars-length away from one another.
A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, ?Do you have a license to catch those fish?? The man replied to the game warden, ?No, sir. These are my pet fish.?
?Pet fish?!? the warden replied.
?Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take ?em home.?
?That?s a bunch of hooey! Fish can?t do that!?
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, ?Here, I?ll show you. It really works.?
?O.K. I?ve GOT to see this!?
The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said ?Well??
?Well, what?? the man responded.
?When are you going to call them back?? the game warden prompted.
?Call who back?? the man asked.
?The FISH.?
?What fish?? the man asked.
Here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula we have a program for recovering Canadians.
It's called Eh Eh.
I live near Hell, Michigan. Driving home today, we went past a sign pointing down a road that leads to Hell.
My dad pointed to it and said, ?That road goes to Hell. Know how you can tell? This is asphalt and that?s good intentions.?
Topic: Michigan (Read 620 times)