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Author Topic: Graci Allen  (Read 137 times)

Offline Michael Bush

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Graci Allen
« on: January 11, 2023, 09:35:23 am »
"I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water, I simply defrost it."--Gracie Allen

"We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take."--Gracie Allen

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."--Gracie Allen

"I don't see what difference it makes what side your bread is buttered on. I always eat both sides."--Gracie Allen

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them."--Gracie Allen

"This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances."--Gracie Allen

"Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time - and millions are doing nothing because it's the best offer they've had this week. It is for these people and many others that the Surprise Party is conceived and desecrated, founded upon the principle that everybody is just as good as anybody else, even though they aren't quite so smart."--Gracie Allen in campaign speech for the Suprise Party

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."--Gracie Allen

"As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, 'Don't go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.' "--Gracie Allen

"Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground."--Gracie Allen

"This country needs room to grow and expand. In all my own newspapers I read frightful tales of the shameful atrocities being perpetrated on our Democratic minorities in Maine and Vermont. My patience is almost at an end, and if provoked much further I will place both countries under American protection, even if I have to send in my tourists to start trouble so I'll have to send in a force to restore order."--Gracie Allen

"A sexagenarian? At his age? I think that?s disgusting!"--Gracie Allen

"They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it."--Gracie Allen

"Love is a lot like a backache? it doesn?t show up on X-rays, but you know it?s there."--
Gracie Allen

?I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too permanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.?-- Gracie Allen

"You know, there's one thing I don't understand. If eggs are so healthy, why are chickens so anxious to get rid of 'em?"--Gracie Allen

Harry von Zell: "I'm glad I'm Single.  I could never afford to dress like that for my wife.
Gracie Allen: "Oh, that 's not true, Harry!  You'll find when you get married that we wives can afford things our husbands haven't even got the money for!"

George: Gracie, those are beautiful flowers. Where did they come from?
Gracie: Don't you remember, George? You said that if I went to visit Clara Bagley in the hospital I should be sure to take her flowers. So, when she wasn't looking, I did.

"So vote early and often. Don?t wait until Election Day."--Gracie Allen

"Americans should be proud of the the national deficit. It is the largest in the world!"--Gracie Allen

Gracie Allen's Campaign slogan: "Even big politicians don't know what to do.  Gracie doesn't know either, But neither do you."

Gracie hires a carpenter to build a chest of drawers as a birthday surprise for George. While the carpenter and Gracie are discussing the number of drawers, height, and width, the carpenter says to Gracie, "Would you like cherry, or maple, or walnut?" Gracie replies, "Oh it doesn't matter what flavor it is. George never licks the furniture."
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