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Author Topic: Bouillabaisse  (Read 262 times)

Offline Michael Bush

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« on: January 11, 2023, 09:23:41 am »
Checking the menu, a restaurant customer ordered a bowl of bouillabaisse. After a couple spoonsful, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, "It's all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked." The waitress said, "You ordered the bouillabaisse, didn't you?" "Yes," he replied. "Well, maybe it has a leek in it."

When Marilyn Monroe was married to Arthur Miller, she got tired of his mother always serving matzo ball soup. "Gee, Arthur," she said after the tenth time, "These matzo balls are pretty nice, but isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat?"

Will you join me in a bowl of bouillabaisse?" "Is it big enough for both of us?"

What do you call 2,000 pounds of Chinese bouillabaisse? Won Ton.

  A guy goes into a restaurant and orders bouillabaisse from a waitress. The waitress goes into the kitchen and the man passes his time waiting by looking out the window. When the waitress returns, he says, "Looks like rain." The waitress says, "Yeah, but it's soup!!"

  The long line of solemn men and women advanced up the church aisle. One by one they paused before the altar to lay bouquets on an open coffin. All except one woman. Instead of flowers, she set a bowl of steaming bouillabaisse beside the dearly departed's face. "Why did you do that?" an usher asked, "This man's soup-eating days are over." "Oh?" She replied, "You think he's still smelling the roses?"

  The owner of a seafood restaurant sends one of his sons undercover to his rival's restaurant. The owner tells him to get a job as a cook, and figure out the recipe for his rival's famous Bouillabaisse.
  The first day, the son comes home with a basic list of ingredients that the rival uses. They try making it, but it doesn't turn out the same. The owner sends him back.
  The second day, the son comes home having watched the rival chef prepare the chowder. They try again to make it, and it's close, but the consistency is off, it's too watery. They try to figure out what they're doing wrong, and the son realizes that he was distracted for a minute while the chef did something.
  "He must have added a secret ingredient, one not on the list, while you looked away!" concludes the owner. He sends his son back for a third day, this time telling him not to take his eyes off the chef for a second.
  The son comes back the next day excited.
  "You'll never believe what I saw!" he says. "He did have a secret ingredient, it's a piece of paper!"
  "A piece of paper?"
  "Yeah, he keeps a stack of printed paper in the kitchen. It's a bunch of Wikipedia articles he's printed out, of various movies. When he makes the chowder, he tears out the synopsis of a movie from one of the articles and puts it in. It's the strangest thing, but that's the secret ingredient."
  "Ah," says the owner, "the plot thickens."

A man walked into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail.
The waitress smiled sweetly and said - "Once upon a time, there was this handsome lobster......"

A seafood lover walks into a bar and grill and orders a beer. "Do you serve bouillabaisse here?" he asks the bartender. "We serve everyone," the bartender says. "Have a seat."

    "What's that?" said Ron, pointing at a large dish of some sort of shellfish stew that stood beside a large stead-and-kidney pudding.
    "Bouillabaisse," said Hermione.
    "Bless you," said Ron.

"Which hand should you use to stir the bouillabaisse?" "Neither, you should use a spoon."

A minister was at a banquet when a careless waiter dropped a steaming bowl of bouillabaisse into his lap. The minister looked around the room with agony in his face and finally whispered, "Would some layman kindly say something appropriate?" (Milton Berle)
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