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Author Topic: Birds  (Read 107 times)

Offline Michael Bush

  • Universal Bee
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« on: January 11, 2023, 09:05:31 am »
When should you buy a bird?
When it?s going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

What is green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.

A rooster is sitting on a top of a barn and laid an egg, which way would it roll?
Roosters don?t lay eggs!

Why did the bird get a ticket?
It broke the law of gravity!

What do you call a chicken in the 1960?s?
A funky chicken.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they?d be bagels!

How do you catch a unique bird?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame bird?
The tame way, unique up on it!

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.

Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

What do you give a sick bird?

Why does a stork stand on one leg?
Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

How did the bubble gum cross the road?
On the bottom of the chicken?s foot!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

What do you call a chicken that will cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A dirty double crosser!

Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don?t know the words.

Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!

Why do ducks fly south?
Because it?s too far to walk!

Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn?t a chicken!

There was a duck who walked into a store and said, ?got any candy?? The storekeeper said, ?no, we don?t.? The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the same thing and got the same anwer. The duck kept going back every day for a week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer until the store keeper got so angry he said, ?if you come in here and ask that again, I will nail your bill to the floor!? The next day, the duck walks into the store and asks, ?got a hammer?? The store keeper says, ?no.? The duck then asks "got a nail?" And the store keeper again says "no".  Then the duck asks, ?got any candy??

When does a teacher carry birdseed?
When there is a parrot-teacher conference!

What is a polygon?
A dead parrot!

What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen
My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin