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Author Topic: Top 8 Morons of 2004  (Read 3870 times)

Anonymous

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Top 8 Morons of 2004
« on: January 13, 2005, 07:31:53 pm »
Top 8 Morons of 2004

  1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
 
 
 
  2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
 
 
  3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
 
  4. THE GETAWAY!  A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
 
  5. DID I SAY THAT???   Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
 
 
  6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???  A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart".  "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
 
  7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!  In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.  King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun...  Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
 
  8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!  Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.  No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going.  It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied.  After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.  A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.  The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.  So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.  He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer

Offline Horns Pure Honey

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Top 8 Morons of 2004
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2005, 08:07:55 pm »
I have read most of those before but the are still great the second time, bye
Ryan Horn

Violacea

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Top 8 Morons of 2004
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2005, 01:24:34 am »
That?s hilarious, I think I liked 6 the best.    :D
« Last Edit: June 14, 2022, 10:11:31 pm by BeeMaster2 »

Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Top 8 Morons of 2004
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2022, 10:10:51 pm »
Bump. This is hilarious.
Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Offline gww

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Re: Top 8 Morons of 2004
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2022, 10:42:46 pm »
 :grin:
gww

Online Ben Framed

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Re: Top 8 Morons of 2004
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2022, 11:30:28 pm »
 :shocked: :cheesy:
They where all good. My favorites are 5 and 6.  :grin:
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.