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Author Topic: Persistent coffin  (Read 241 times)

Offline beecanbee

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Persistent coffin
« on: June 02, 2017, 07:00:37 am »
Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ...
BUMP........
BUMP........
BUMP........
Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain he saw the faint outline of a large box on the road.
BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........

He froze to the spot and focused. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box became clearer in the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.
BUMP........
BUMP........
BUMP........
The coffin seemed to be gaining on him. He started walking faster.........
BUMP.... BUMP.......
BUMP........BUMP.......
BUMP........BUMP........
The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him ...
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....
Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside, slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair.
Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase ..
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ...
BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...
BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...
BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...
The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges ...
The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin ... Still it came ........
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it came......
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came......
BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...
He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ...
And finally the coffin stopped.
"I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

Online sawdstmakr

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Re: Persistent coffin
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2017, 12:49:21 pm »
Now that's baaaaadddddd.  :cheesy:
Jim
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain