Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: iddee on September 07, 2014, 07:24:20 pm
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Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. To a different bar.
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?
A . Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this bleep.'
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States
Oh, be quiet....just pass it on!
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Aw iddee your head straight to some where very very warm. She you in south Florida. ;)
John
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PC your not!! :th_thumbsupup:
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:lau:
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:lau:
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:-D
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You forgot to offend the Aussies. We feel quite left out. And offended :-x
Aussies
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Lone, maybe you Aussies are looking at it upside down and just can't see it. :evil: :-D
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I asked an Aussie here once if he "Drove on the RIGHT side of the road?" He got mad and said "No... I drive on the WRONG side, what'ja bloody think!?"
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Lone you should know better, you give Iddee 2.5 centimetres he'll take a kilometre ( Sorry Iddee, 0.62137 of a mile). By the way you give him a yellow bucket and a stick he becomes the Pied Piper of the bee kingdom.
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5/8 is a usable round off, Geoff. Been using it for years.
Yeah, my leash has always been elastic. :angel: :angel:
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Lone, maybe you Aussies are looking at it upside down and just can't see it. evil grin
Now we are really offended..
I asked an Aussie here once if he "Drove on the RIGHT side of the road?" He got mad and said "No... I drive on the WRONG side, what'ja bloody think!?"
Of COURSE left is right!
Lone you should know better, you give Iddee 2.5 centimetres he'll take a kilometre ( Sorry Iddee, 0.62137 of a mile). By the way you give him a yellow bucket and a stick he becomes the Pied Piper of the bee kingdom.
It's OK, inches are better when you get older as millimeters are too small to see.
He probably offended the bees too for them to be chasing him like that.
Yeah, my leash has always been elastic. angel angel
Just so long as you keep your straight..err..bee jacket on..
Lone
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where is the Pig Blood?
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Jayj, how about................
There will never be a muslim in the US government. Waaaaaay too much pork being passed out.
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Not getting all Sci-ency here, but our Solar System (try to find the name of our solar system - good luck) to repeat, our solar system is UPSIDE DOWN relative to the Milky Way Galaxy, so in Truth, the South Pole is actually the TOP of the world - which makes us folks in the Northern Hemisphere the ones holding on for dear life or fall from the planet cause of being upside down.
I know, Beemaster could take the Bzzzz off a bee. Didn't mean to get all educational and stuff :)
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To also be technical in regards to space matters, WHEN aren't there Afro-Americans on Star Trek? Every series has at least one and often a whole race of Afro-American Aliens.
Lone Space Cadet.
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There's even black Vulcans on Star Trek.
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Okay Lone - without searching, here are the ones I come up with:
Original Star Trek had Uhura (okay had to look up spelling but found out her character's first name was Nyota. She was the first black woman in a major role and was asked by Martin Luther King jr. to stay in the show after she felt like quitting.
Next Generation had Geordi La Forge - LaVar Burton. Helms officer with the visor.
Star Trek Voyage had Tovak (Vulcan/human half breed) BTW my favorite Star Trek series.
Deep Space 9 - had Captain Cisco, his son and about 1/3rd the cast
Enterprise had Ensign Travis - didn't watch this series yet, but will.
Hows that :D
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I know he is a Klingon, but what about Worf? Started off on TNG and worked up to DS9.
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You have a good memory, Beemaster - we should nickname you Google. I just thought of Whoopi Goldberg who was that odd counsellor type alien.
Worf was the obvious Klingon, but there were other Klingons also.
Now I am feeling offended again because I can't think of any aussies on Star Trek...
Lone (No I am not a trekki!)
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All this goes back to Political Correctness in programming - today you have the token gay guy on Big Brother and the Gay Couples on Survivor and Amazing Race, not to forget the token old man or old couple. Reality shows all play by that rule.
But if we are talking race, no show is more PC than The Price is Right: their could be one black person in the audience of 300 people and that person will make it on stage, thus at least get to spin the wheel. You might say "what's wrong with that?" I say nothing EXCEPT it is obvious to me that they must keep TWO sets of names to draw from a hat - that I think is wrong.
Being PC today has its sickening moments, doesn't matter if it is race, life-style, age or other factors. I'm a Big Brother fan, watched that TV series and bought the Live Feed for 16 years now - never missing a season. The first thing to come to mind, who is the token "Old Man" and token "Gay" and by gay I usually mean a man, women who are gay are discriminated on reality TV much of the time. And don't forget the token "Old Man".
My issue is NOT having people of color and gay people oor old people on TV - it is JUST the opposite - why must we have only one? Both Survivor has had gay couples including this season starting this week, and so has the Amazing race - as was the case last year, but typically they have "token slots" to fill and there has never been 2 gays on Big Brother - I assume the Network is afraid of a "Show-mance" as it is call between to men or women, but they feed off of straight couples hooking up.
And (sad note for most of us) the token old man om Big Brother this season was only 42 years old - lol. Donny, a Grounds Keeper sent packing from the Big Brother house about 3 weeks ago, made it further than most the "old men" in the house had in previous years. The token gay, Frankie just got booted about a week ago. But I say, stop limiting it one of each, let people you think as charismatic come into the house, even if there are three gay men or women or 4 old men - stop trying to satisfy the "minimum requirements" to keep the masses happy.
I do think CBS is scared to death to deal with a truly gay romance for 3 months in the BB house - but they still have to make sure the gay population is always satisfied with having one to represent them. That is just hypocritical to me.
I wrote CBS with a suggestion for a season's theme, I call GENERATIONS which is to have THREE people in their TEENS, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s giving them the right number of players they need AND to represent all demographics - I never got a reply. Strangely the people who pay for Big Brother's live feed average in the late 40s, as is the case of the viewers of the televised shows (which is three shows a week) and you can tell by the advertisers. The majority of players in the house are in their early to mid 20s - far from the demographics of the viewers - I think that is because as we age, it's nice to remember when we had the seemingly limitless strength to compete in some very tough competitions - not to forget, younger people are doing almost anything besides being glued to the TV for hours and hours a week.
I know it is all JUST HOW TV has to work to keep everyone happy, but when scouting players and they are looking for the perfect token Gay Guy or perfect Old Guy and Black guy or girl, it seems wrong to me. They need to get past that foolishness and if the want to be entertaining, just pick the 14-16 players that will make for good TV, no matter how many people with race, age and sexual preference there is in the house.
Oh.... and if you think I'm crazy about the Price is Right, watch it today (or any/every day) and tell me they're NOT drawing names from two different hats.