A dictionary, an encyclopedia, and a thesaurus walk into a bar. The mixologist takes one look at them and quips, ?What is this?a jest, mockery, target practice, repartee, facetiousness, drollery, banter, or a knee-slapper??
What did the book reviewer say about the thesaurus? Don?t arbitrate, assess, decree, estimate, mediate, reckon with, evaluate, or appraise a book by its cover.
What?s another word in the thesaurus for mother? Can?t say. Mum?s the word!
What did the clown say to the thesaurus? Put in a good word for me!
Famous book titles if the authors had used a thesaurus:
The Grapes of Exasperation
50 Penumbras of Silvery-Ash
The Ravenousness Competitions
An Adieu to Limbs
The Supremo of the Circlets
Five famous movie lines rewritten with a thesaurus:
Here?s being observant of you, child.
May the fortitude be with you.
I?m going to make him a countersuggestion he can?t repudiate.
You possessed me at ?salutation.?
Forsooth, my pet, I don?t give a doodley-squat!
What do lexicographers prefer for breakfast? Synonym rolls.
Five famous song lyrics revamped with a thesaurus:
Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah. Roma, roma, ma. Gaga, ooh, la, la, want your lousy infatuation.
You can?t consistently apprehend what you hanker for.
Come on, baby, enkindle my inferno.
Bindlestiffs like us, baby, we were spawned to scamper.
Like a gangplank over anxious H2O, I will situate myself down.
Why did the writer stop using his thesaurus? Because he bit off more than he could masticate.
What do logophiles do when you tell them to hit the books? First, they consult their thesaurus. Next, they swat, thwack, larrup, spank, bust, sock, wallop, punch, and clobber the literary paperbound publications.
Overuse of the Thesaurus:
I?m feeling very borborygmic, gastroenterologically speaking.
What should I use for my papuliferous complexion?
The pie crust had an oleaginous texture.
The bearded fellow wore his hair in a furibund atop his head.
Passionate cupidity brims on Valentine?s Day.
This romance novel is very piperaceous.
Would you like to join me during your refection break to sip libation?
My rage is fumarolic!
He shot his rival a rebarbative glance.
The party was so lit, but now I?m totally crapulous.
The best co-parents form a bicephalous regime.
I asked my boss for hebdomadal paychecks, and she was like, what?
To avoid wasting paper, I just use my palimpsest.
You?re so late?I?ve been waiting for a million parsecs.
I?m going to titivate the fireplace to make it a focal point.
You have a capacity for emacity!
We are at a higher elevation on a watercourse of feces sans oars.
The feces is about to come into violent contact with the oscillating aeromotor.
Paddle paddle paddle your craft contentedly down the liquid solution, ecstatically ecstatically ecstatically existence is only an illusion.
Fullfill the conglomeration of your feces.
Which dinosaur knew the most words?
The thesaurus!
Topic: Thesaurus (Read 633 times)