Three New Agents

[Ben Framed]

There were three final agents, with only one of the three to be chosen for a very special mission. The Chief had to know he could depend on the final agent that would be chosen for the mission, to absolutely follow orders no matter what!

Independently and separated by a long hallway with many rooms, one by one he explained as much.  To the first agent he said, "I am giving you this loaded gun. Inside the next room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Go inside and kill her." In a minute or two the agent returned with regret and tears in his eyes "I'm sorry Chief, I just can't do it". The chief said, "Its ok, get your wife and go home."

The Chief went to the holding place of the second agent, If I choose you for this mission, I have to know you will follow orders no matter what they are, while placing the same loaded gun in his hand. "Inside the next room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Go inside and kill her." After a longer period the second agent returned and said about the same thing. The Chief said "Its ok, get your wife and go home."

The Chief went further down to the long hallway to the holding place of the third and final agent and said the same while placing the same gun in his hand. "Inside the next room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Go inside and kill her."
The third agent eaglery went into the room which held his wife, shut the door and the gun rapidly fired until empty. Then there was banging and cracking of chairs, rattling and knocking against the walls as of a big struggle, the sound of the table as it was being broken and splintering as it collapsed upon the floor.
Shortly the third agent with his clothes tattered, face scratched, some hair noticeable missing, opened the door and and said, "Chief; Would you believe some fool loaded this gun with blanks?" "She put up a heck of a good fight and it took some doing, but I finally got her pinned down and choked to death!!" 

[Terri Yaki]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5Y25FT7DxE

[animal]

Ben, my guess is you didn't run that one by the wife before telling it

For the women that may complain about that joke, might I suggest one of the greatest songs about relationships ever written ..2 out of 3 ain't bad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVvXWUAKtus

or maybe the last guy saw paradise by the dashboard lights when he was 17 ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a136H5K3OKw

oddly enough, my wife claims they aren't love songs and she didn't like the joke either. women are odd.

[Terri Yaki]

Ben, my guess is you didn't run that one by the wife before telling it

For the women that may complain about that joke, might I suggest one of the greatest songs about relationships ever written ..2 out of 3 ain't bad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVvXWUAKtus

or maybe the last guy saw paradise by the dashboard lights when he was 17 ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a136H5K3OKw

oddly enough, my wife claims they aren't love songs and she didn't like the joke either. women are odd.

I'm hard to offend and a joke is a joke, whether I'm the butt of it or not. But I have learned that a lot of other people aren't so cool.

Anyhow, I'm guessing that she wouldn't take well to the battery of battered women jokes that I have in stock either, eh?

[animal]

nah, she just doesn't understand the maxim : the greater the tragedy, the greater the potential for humor.
She was aghast one night when I was trading holocaust jokes with a rabbi (and wouldn't accept "HE STARTED IT !), and shocked for days after I told one joke about my dad's heart problems.
mostly, she just shakes her head or flips me off (I suggested that one as an exercise after a stroke, and have made sure to give her plenty of exercise) ... or maybe she's just praying for the end of time?

[Ben Framed]

Actually it was the "dumb" agents' Chief who was the object of the joke as well as the dumb agent. The Chief never meant for the wife to be harmed.       That is why the Chief inserted blanks in the gun and assumed any agent which might have used it as directed, would get the point once fired and failed, with a sudden sense of relief to follow.
The dumb 'yes man agent' saw nothing but the need to follow orders, "not matter what", even if the weapon was not effective. Perhaps the only mistake of the wife, was marrying such an egghead in the beginning..   

[animal]

Actually it was the "dumb" agents' Chief who was the object of the joke as well as the dumb agent. The Chief never meant for the wife to be harmed.       That is why the Chief inserted blanks in the gun and assumed any agent which might have used it as directed, would get the point once fired and failed, with a sudden sense of relief to follow.
The dumb 'yes man agent' saw nothing but the need to follow orders, "not matter what", even if the weapon was not effective. Perhaps the only mistake of the wife, was marrying such an egghead in the beginning??   

yeah .... that'll fly 

[Terri Yaki]

Actually it was the "dumb" agents' Chief who was the object of the joke as well as the dumb agent. The Chief never meant for the wife to be harmed.       That is why the Chief inserted blanks in the gun and assumed any agent which might have used it as directed, would get the point once fired and failed, with a sudden sense of relief to follow.
The dumb 'yes man agent' saw nothing but the need to follow orders, "not matter what", even if the weapon was not effective. Perhaps the only mistake of the wife, was marrying such an egghead in the beginning??   

yeah .... that'll fly 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mzNZIKV-Qs

[iddee]

After my wife fussed at me for 2 weeks to mow the yard, I came home to find her cutting the grass with a pair of scissors.
I went into the house and got her a glass of soapy water and a tooth brush. I told her she may as well scrub the driveway when she's done.

The doctors say I should be able to go home in about a month.

[Ben Framed]

Lol yiu are lucky that it's just a month? But how long have you been in the hospital?