You definitely have some challenges. I am going to be straight up with you.
First line of advice; Find the local bee club closest to you. Get in contact with the group. Network aggressively and find a mentor pronto. Someone you can lean on daily. You have a lot going on there and the beekeeping challenges you have cannot be effectively relayed nor overcome through a forum such as this. You need direct support.
Second line of advice; see the first line advice above.
Third line of advice; once you have a mentor in place and are making sense of bee things; always be thinking 3 weeks to 1 month ahead of what the bees need and what the bees are going to do. Your beekeeping actions today are not for today or about today. Your beekeeping actions made today are for 3 weeks from now. The problems expressed in your opening post are, simply put, from being behind the bees instead of in front of them.
Fourth line of advice; to prepare your hives for winter properly so they will survive, see third line and first line of advice above. In your location you will reduce the hive(s) to two brood boxes and for winter stores the total weight of the hive, all boxes with covers and bottom, must be a minimum 150 pounds, 160 would be better. Yes, get the hive onto a scale and weight it. See your mentor for configuring the hive and the amount of adequate insulation or wrap needed for your area.
On the possibility of there being a current mite level problem. You can sample and count or just go with it and say they are there and treat; If you are concerned about mites, and you always should be, looking at the list of treatments that you have put up there ... use the ApiVar. It is the only option you have at this time that will have any effect. Read the package, follow the instructions. It will work perfectly, unless the mite load is too high and already too far gone. The ApiVar will knock out the mites, but the bees may be too far inflicted with virus' that are vectored by the mite. In the case of excessively high load, like BFB, kill the hive before mite and virus' can spread to other hives. My last line of advice is; I would not follow a single word of advice that beepro sends your way with respect to mite control. Guidance on other bee subjects maybe, but not mites.