Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum

MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: iddee on January 21, 2011, 11:54:37 am

Title: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: iddee on January 21, 2011, 11:54:37 am
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A  FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING  A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: Jerrymac on January 21, 2011, 01:19:02 pm

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

Or the shower  :shock:

Why is it the woman never puts the seat up for the man? Hummm?
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: VolunteerK9 on January 21, 2011, 01:42:26 pm
Quote from: Jerrymac on January 21, 2011, 01:19:02 pm

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

Or the shower  :shock:

Why is it the woman never puts the seat up for the man? Hummm?

Exactly...if I have to lift it then they should put it back down. Orrr...I just wont lift it in the first place and listen to the complaints of my accuracy.
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: Kathyp on January 21, 2011, 01:46:29 pm
because you will not wander into the dark bathroom and FALL IN because i forgot to put the seat up.  :-D
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: Scadsobees on January 21, 2011, 02:17:49 pm
We've got four young boys.  In our house its the females who get yelled at! "how many times do I have to tell you...PUT THE SEAT UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE!!"   :-D

They like to know that the seat is either down or up and stable.  Being as short as they are, if that seat comes down fast.... :shock:
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: Jerrymac on January 21, 2011, 09:08:38 pm
Quote from: kathyp on January 21, 2011, 01:46:29 pm
because you will not wander into the dark bathroom and FALL IN because i forgot to put the seat up.  :-D

Yep, we are smart enough to turn the light on  :-D
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: iddee on January 21, 2011, 09:19:58 pm
""Being as short as they are, if that seat comes down fast....  ""

They become young girls? ???  :-D
Title: Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Post by: hardwood on January 21, 2011, 09:29:16 pm
Sopranos in the boy's choir?

Scott