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Author Topic: What?s Cookin?  (Read 31470 times)

Offline .30WCF

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #220 on: December 23, 2021, 11:40:22 am »
So, I paid the .99 cents/month for the unlimited pics.

First light this morning.


Rolled a fresh split of hickory on the coals and placed another one in to start warming up.



Couple hours in.



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Online The15thMember

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #221 on: December 23, 2021, 02:18:09 pm »
So, I paid the .99 cents/month for the unlimited pics.
That's totally worth it. 

Maybe I?ll just work on my storytelling since I?m out of uploads.

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled.  The stove was against the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the nite before and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove as they seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn?t discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.
I'm a writer as well, and I love this little paragraph you wrote.  Mind if I critique and do a little cleanup editing?  I don't want to trample on your creativity at all, but it's so nice that I'd really like to make it sparkle.  You don't have to accept any of my changes if you don't like them.  May I?     

Quote
The stove was against the wall in the main room of the old house.
This sentence needs a stronger verb.  How about "rested"? 

Quote
they seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn?t discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter
I LOVE this line, it's extremely creative and really portrays that sense of quiet mystery about everything early in the morning.  In fact it's so good, I feel like it should be split off from the previous sentence, to help it stand out a little better.

Let's also try to rework a sentence or two to prevent any unnecessary repetition of words and proofread. 

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled, resting against the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove.  They seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn't discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.

What do you think?  :grin:


Sal, I didn't forget about you, you poor hungry soul.  We all stayed up late last night making Christmas cookies. 
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« Last Edit: December 23, 2021, 02:31:01 pm by The15thMember »
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline .30WCF

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What?s Cookin?
« Reply #222 on: December 23, 2021, 03:06:33 pm »
So, I paid the .99 cents/month for the unlimited pics.
That's totally worth it. 

Maybe I?ll just work on my storytelling since I?m out of uploads.

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled.  The stove was against the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the nite before and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove as they seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn?t discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.
I'm a writer as well, and I love this little paragraph you wrote.  Mind if I critique and do a little cleanup editing?  I don't want to trample on your creativity at all, but it's so nice that I'd really like to make it sparkle.  You don't have to accept any of my changes if you don't like them.  May I?     

Quote
The stove was against the wall in the main room of the old house.
This sentence needs a stronger verb.  How about "rested"? 

Quote
they seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn?t discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter
I LOVE this line, it's extremely creative and really portrays that sense of quiet mystery about everything early in the morning.  In fact it's so good, I feel like it should be split off from the previous sentence, to help it stand out a little better.

Let's also try to rework a sentence or two to prevent any unnecessary repetition of words and proofread. 

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled, resting against the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove.  They seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn't discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.

What do you think?  :grin:


Sal, I didn't forget about you, you poor hungry soul.  We all stayed up late last night making Christmas cookies. 
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That was a mental picture about my coffee. If you think that impressive, wait until you hear about the the can of baked beans I?m gonna heat up later when the BBQ is ready.
You are totally welcome to change my masterpiece. :)
The fact of the matter is the stove is neither against or resting against the pine tongue and groove wall, we should work on that descriptor, cause that sounds like a fire hazard. How about ?along? the wall?

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove.  They seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn't discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.
 The last sentence has the word seemed twice. You might find a different word than seemed to replace the first one. I like the sound of the second use of the word better than the first. Another option is to add the whispering part back to the other already long sentence, and let the last part stand alone.

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove as they whispered to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing but they seemed at peace about the matter.

But don?t let it be lost on you that a picture is worth 1,000 words, and I did pay the .99 cents. Tomorrow you might just get a picture of the mug from the sippers perspective with the glowing stove in the backdrop. Or is that often repeated statement not so true?


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« Last Edit: December 23, 2021, 04:37:46 pm by .30WCF »

Offline salvo

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #223 on: December 23, 2021, 03:12:01 pm »
15!

Holy Macaroon! I'm going into sugar shock just looking at them all. I need a coffee.


30!

I can see those little girls, dancing around the house with their Dad in tow. Remember this EXACTLY when you're an old man, Christmas Eve Eve. Memories are made of this.

Sal
Salvo

Offline .30WCF

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What?s Cookin?
« Reply #224 on: December 23, 2021, 03:14:04 pm »
15!

Holy Macaroon! I'm going into sugar shock just looking at them all. I need a coffee.


30!

I can see those little girls, dancing around the house with their Dad in tow. Remember this EXACTLY when you're an old man, Christmas Eve Eve. Memories are made of this.

Sal

You are mistaken my friend. I got put in the lead.


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« Last Edit: December 23, 2021, 04:36:38 pm by .30WCF »

Online The15thMember

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #225 on: December 23, 2021, 04:47:02 pm »
But don?t let it be lost on you that a picture is worth 1,000 words, and I did pay the .99 cents. Tomorrow you might just get a picture of the mug from the sippers perspective with the glowing stove in the backdrop. Or is that often repeated statement not so true?
I think it depends on the picture and the words, but I'd say you definitely got a good deal!  :happy:

That was a mental picture about my coffee. If you think that impressive, wait until you hear about the the can of baked beans I?m gonna heat up later when the BBQ is ready.
You are totally welcome to change my masterpiece. :)
The fact of the matter is the stove is neither against or resting against the pine tongue and groove wall, we should work on that descriptor, cause that sounds like a fire hazard. How about ?along? the wall?

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove.  They seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn't discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.
 The last sentence has the word seemed twice. You might find a different word than seemed to replace the first one. I like the sound of the second use of the word better than the first. Another option is to add the whispering part back to the other already long sentence, and let the last part stand alone.

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove as they whispered to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing but they seemed at peace about the matter.
I agree heartily with both of your edits.  I also wish there was a way remove last the "coffee pot and wood stove" as those nouns are repeated a lot in the paragraph.  Is it clear if we change that to "the two"?

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled, resting along the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the two whispering to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing, but they seemed at peace about the matter.   

Hm, I'm not sure. . . the antecedent might to be too unclear now. 
 
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline .30WCF

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #226 on: December 23, 2021, 04:47:24 pm »
She?s done.




And there will be gingerbread cookies for Santa.





That last front tooth is hanging on by a thread. Part of cooking is cleaning, or is it just playing in the water?


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Offline .30WCF

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What?s Cookin?
« Reply #227 on: December 23, 2021, 05:19:55 pm »
But don?t let it be lost on you that a picture is worth 1,000 words, and I did pay the .99 cents. Tomorrow you might just get a picture of the mug from the sippers perspective with the glowing stove in the backdrop. Or is that often repeated statement not so true?
I think it depends on the picture and the words, but I'd say you definitely got a good deal!  :happy:

That was a mental picture about my coffee. If you think that impressive, wait until you hear about the the can of baked beans I?m gonna heat up later when the BBQ is ready.
You are totally welcome to change my masterpiece. :)
The fact of the matter is the stove is neither against or resting against the pine tongue and groove wall, we should work on that descriptor, cause that sounds like a fire hazard. How about ?along? the wall?

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove.  They seemed to be whispering to each other about something I couldn't discern, but they seemed at peace about the matter.
 The last sentence has the word seemed twice. You might find a different word than seemed to replace the first one. I like the sound of the second use of the word better than the first. Another option is to add the whispering part back to the other already long sentence, and let the last part stand alone.

Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the coffee pot and wood stove as they whispered to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing but they seemed at peace about the matter.
I agree heartily with both of your edits.  I also wish there was a way remove last the "coffee pot and wood stove" as those nouns are repeated a lot in the paragraph.  Is it clear if we change that to "the two"?

It was 4:30 in the morning and the house was silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled, resting along the wall in the main room of the old house. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room. Through the doorway into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the two whispering to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing, but they seemed at peace about the matter.   

Hm, I'm not sure. . . the antecedent might to be too unclear now. 
 


Four-thirty this morning the house was nearly silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled from it?s nite?s work. It sat along the narrow side wall in the main room of the old house that led to an opening into the kitchen and down the hall. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room, hardly enough light to walk by, but enough to signal that it still had some life inside. Through the opening into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the two of them whispering to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing, but they seemed at peace about the matter.   


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« Last Edit: December 23, 2021, 07:04:57 pm by .30WCF »

Online The15thMember

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #228 on: December 23, 2021, 05:40:16 pm »
Four-thirty this morning and the house was nearly silent except for the popping of the wood stove as it cooled from it?s nite?s duty. It sat along the narrow side wall in the main room of the old house that led to an opening into the kitchen and down the hall. The stove had last been fed late the night before, and all that remained was a small bed of coals giving a little light to the immediate area in the room, hardly enough light to walk by, but enough to signal that it still had some life inside. Through the opening into the kitchen, I could hear the coffee pot mimicking the cadence of the wood stove as it dripped my morning coffee into the carafe, and an occasional puff of steam hissing would disrupt the pattern of the two of them whispering to each other about something. I could not discern what they were discussing, but they seemed at peace about the matter.   


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That's it!!  I'll correct that spelling of night and send it off to the presses!   :grin:

15!

Holy Macaroon! I'm going into sugar shock just looking at them all. I need a coffee.

Sal, would you like an Oreo truffle with your coffee?   :happy:
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I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline .30WCF

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #229 on: December 23, 2021, 07:03:26 pm »
15,
The truffles look good. 



We ended up with BBQ sandwiches, the most incredible fresh potato salad, deviled eggs and a can of beans.


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Online The15thMember

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #230 on: December 23, 2021, 08:20:05 pm »
15,
The truffles look good. 



We ended up with BBQ sandwiches, the most incredible fresh potato salad, deviled eggs and a can of beans.


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Thanks.  I put all the nice looking ones in the front and the ugly ones in the back.   :cheesy:

Oh man, I'd take that supper of yours any day.  That's one of my favorite meals.  We just had leftover spaghetti tonight.  Sorry, no time for a picture as we are rushing around trying to get all our work done before tomorrow.   
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.


Offline .30WCF

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #232 on: December 25, 2021, 03:42:44 pm »
Ham is in the oven, pies and dressing are done. Deviled eggs in the works.


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Offline .30WCF

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #233 on: December 26, 2021, 03:07:04 pm »
Day after Christmas, sitting on the tailgate eating lunch while running errands, I was visited by a friend.



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Offline .30WCF

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Offline salvo

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #236 on: December 26, 2021, 11:10:03 pm »
OH!

OK.

Sal
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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #237 on: December 27, 2021, 02:48:31 pm »
We always do our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve.  We had a ham, pineapple casserole, mashed potato casserole, green bean casserole, a new broccoli casserole (which was delicious), corn, cold glazed carrots, and King's Hawaiian rolls. 
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Stay tuned for tonight's supper, because we're having our first ever goat burgers!  :grin: 
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.

Offline Geoff

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #238 on: December 27, 2021, 07:01:47 pm »

    Goat burgers 15th. ?  ?   You are just kidding us !  !
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Online The15thMember

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Re: What?s Cookin?
« Reply #239 on: December 27, 2021, 07:06:47 pm »

    Goat burgers 15th. ?  ?   You are just kidding us !  !
:cheesy: :cheesy:
I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am she that walks unseen.