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Author Topic: Eats shoots  (Read 3268 times)

Offline beecanbee

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Eats shoots
« on: September 26, 2017, 06:55:00 am »
A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!"

The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"

The bartender opened his dictionary to `panda`, ? "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."
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Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2017, 07:26:17 am »
 :sad:
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Online Michael Bush

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2017, 10:17:14 am »
>Eats shoots and leaves.

Punctuation can change everything. "Eats, shoots, and leaves."

"Let's eat Grandma"
"Let's eat, Grandma"

Punctuation can save lives...

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Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2017, 01:45:06 pm »
 :cheesy:
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Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Offline Dallasbeek

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2017, 02:52:45 pm »
Somebody based a book on that and titled it eats shoots and runs. 
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Offline Eric Bosworth

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2017, 06:18:18 pm »
Quote from: Dallasbeek on September 26, 2017, 02:52:45 pm
Somebody based a book on that and titled it eats shoots and runs.
No... The title is Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation



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All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns; that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party. ---Mao Tse Tung

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ---Benjamin Franklin

Offline Dallasbeek

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 07:17:59 pm »
You're right.  My sister-in-law gave me a copy in paperback, so I should have gotten it right.  Duh.
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"Liberty lives in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no laws, no court can save it." - Judge Learned Hand, 1944

Offline Eric Bosworth

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2017, 04:25:11 am »
Quote from: Dallasbeek on September 26, 2017, 07:17:59 pm
You're right.  My sister-in-law gave me a copy in paperback, so I should have gotten it right.  Duh.
My wife was reading something about some pesticide that said something about being harmful to cats some died but most got better after 1 to 5 days. I said huh? You mean it can bring cats back from the dead? She said apparently. Then she started talking about the book Eats Shoots and Leaves. Obviously whoever wrote the article she was reading never read Eats Shoots and Leaves.

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All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns; that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party. ---Mao Tse Tung

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ---Benjamin Franklin

Online Michael Bush

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2017, 09:07:21 am »
>My wife was reading something about some pesticide that said something about being harmful to cats some died but most got better after 1 to 5 days.

Ambiguity can be so entertaining...
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My website:  bushfarms.com/bees.htm en espanol: bushfarms.com/es_bees.htm  auf deutsche: bushfarms.com/de_bees.htm  em portugues:  bushfarms.com/pt_bees.htm
My book:  ThePracticalBeekeeper.com
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Offline jalentour

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2017, 11:18:02 am »
I was pretty sure the story was fake news when the bartender pulled out a dictionary.
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Offline Dallasbeek

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2017, 11:32:39 am »
Quote from: jvalentour on September 27, 2017, 11:18:02 am
I was pretty sure the story was fake news when the bartender pulled out a dictionary.

You were okay with the part about a panda going into a bar, huh?  Ooookay. :rolleyes:
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"Liberty lives in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no laws, no court can save it." - Judge Learned Hand, 1944

Offline Eric Bosworth

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2017, 10:06:46 pm »
Along the same lines as eating shoots and leaves, is all purpose baking flour always in bloom? Why feed bees sugar when we can feed flour? When my wife is baking she often asks me to get the flour. I usually respond with do you want roses or carnations?

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All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns; that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party. ---Mao Tse Tung

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ---Benjamin Franklin

Offline iddee

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2017, 07:44:59 am »
Hey, Eric, at least she's baking. Do you ask her for the spelling when she says she's going out to get ......."bread /// bred"?
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Offline Eric Bosworth

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Re: Eats shoots
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2017, 09:17:03 pm »
Quote from: iddee on October 16, 2017, 07:44:59 am
Hey, Eric, at least she's baking. Do you ask her for the spelling when she says she's going out to get ......."bread /// bred"?
Hummm... I'll never let her go out to get bread again for fear she spelled it wrong...

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All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns; that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party. ---Mao Tse Tung

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ---Benjamin Franklin
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