MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION > HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING

Let's laugh!!! Good for the body, mind and soul!!!

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Cindi:
Got a cute and funny little e-mail this morning, it made me smile, it made me feel good, yep, yep.  Have a beautiful, awesomely great day, Cindi

Thank you. I am eternally in your debt.
 
I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. ...
 
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. 

I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. 

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the  $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water  buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God'  on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave  anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown   African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex offender waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day...
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Kathyp:
that was good for a laugh!  thanks.

Keith13:
I had my hand on my mouse through the whole thing oh well

JP:
I thought kfc chicken was mice that accidentally wound up in the fryer. :-D


...JP

Brian D. Bray:

--- Quote from: JP on May 15, 2008, 03:08:48 pm ---I thought kfc chicken was mice that accidentally wound up in the fryer. :-D


...JP

--- End quote ---

Only the ones they catch.

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