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Nat'l Panda Day

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Michael Bush:
What do exploding pandas eat?
BAMBOOM!

What's a panda's favorite cooking utensil?
A pan.. duh??

I took my family to a costume party, I asked my wife to be a panda, my kid to be a koala and I went as a grizzly. My wife didn't get the joke, so I said I will tell you when we get to the party... At the party I still refused to tell her and told her to be patient, so when we left...
...I simply turned to her and said, thanks for bearing with me!

What?s a panda?s biggest life regret?
Never had a selfie in color.

To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
That's the bear minimum.

What do you get when you cross a Leopoard with a Panda?
Fired from the zoo

Kung Fu Panda's Script
In the first draft for Kung Fu Panda's script the country of origin was written as TH, instead of CHN. However, it was just a Thai Po.

What do you call pandas on April 1st?
Bamboo-zler!

Why are pandas always scared?
Because of the bamBOO.

What do you call a male panda?
Amanda!

Why did the panda get drunk?
Because it had too much bamboos

Today, I saw twin pandas.
That bears repeating.

What happens when you let a panda eat some NH4+?
Pandamonium!

Sweet jeebus, this panda is hurt! Quick call the
bamboolance.

Why did the panda bring a bamboo to the fight?
Because bamboo shoots.

The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today . . .
It was pandamonium!!!

What?s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.

Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they?d look silly in denim jackets.

What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A panda-emic.

What color socks do bears wear?
They don?t wear socks; they have bear feet!

What do you get if you cross a panda bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.

What do pandas wear when robbing a bank?
They always wear a pandana.

What?s the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About two thousand miles.

Two pandas are sitting around eating bamboo stalks when an unfamiliar lady panda walks up and grabs a piece.
As she walks away, one panda turns to the other and says, ?I?ve never met herbivore!?

What do they say about the panda who walks on her own a lot?
That she?s very inde-panda-nt!

What is black, white, and blue?
A sad panda.

What is black and white with red dots?
A panda with chickenpox.

What do a zebra and a panda have in common?
The answer is pretty black and white.

What does a panda say before leaving?
"I'll be white black."

Why do panda bears have a hairy coat?
Fur protection.

What did the mama bear say when her cub left a mess?
"Did I raise you to be a bar-bear-ian?!"

How do pandas prefer to travel?
On a bear-o-plane.

What did the panda say when his friend got a bad haircut?
"Don?t worry; it's not furever. Plus, I bearely even notice a difference."

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