Great bunch of posts - more specific than I thought which is awesome - thanks for sharing.
A few points, one being carry. No we can't in NJ BUT IF I COULD, as much as I love my Glock 19 (15rnds 9mm) I don't have a set of clothes to loosen my belt enough for a In the Waist Band Holster - and I've bought enough "roomier" pants.
So, I'd go smaller or thinner, although I don't overly like single stack semi-autos - in many cases might as well have a Michael Bush revolver theme going. I like revolvers, only have the Ruger SP101 .22lr 5 inch barrel (well looks 5 inch) and what an accurate and fun gun to shoot - holds 8 shots. I did find that IF I miss a cleaning after the range, I start having about 15-20% failure to fire. The Ruger .22 uses a transfer bar to the firing pin allowing you to dry fire with no harm to the cylinder or firing pin as in most .22 revolvers. That's not only in their books, website, but from their mouths too - so no crappy .22 snap caps, dry fire all day if you wish.
But I'd likely go big or go home with conceal - small in size, big in power is ideal for carry - you lose the barrel length for speed and accuracy if your carrying a 2 inch barrel, but a DA semi in all manageable calibers 38s in a sub-compact is enough power, although I have shot (staggered shot) 38 and 357 and I swear in the revolver I used, they both felt about the same. But again, larger police sized revolver, not anything light those Star Wars like Ruger's revolvers - cool yes, but I'm sure you'll carry more than range fire it.
Oh, in answer to a question above Do you carry your gun to the door answer... depends! If company is on the way, I assume they'll be knocking. If it's light out, I have good visibility out my living room window above my door - but after dark, good window view or not, my Glock is placed just under the rear of my living room couch (bi-level house) about a foot from my left hand (I'm a lefty) and I answer the door with my right. It's 2 locked door between me and anyone - a chambered 9mm a foot away is plenty of security especially since they can't see it.
My feeling is "I never EVER want anyone to put me in a situation to use a firearm on them." That said, unless you are willing to use one to preserve your life, well then carry wasp and hornet spray around with you. I swear, there is no better CONVENTIONAL weapon besides a gun than wasp and hornet spray, having a 20 foot range to blind someone beats any pepper spray and you will blind them, a wound to the leg or shoulder heals, but they be blind forever. And sure you can have a cross bow locked and loaded, but unless this is the Hunger Games, you better hit home the first time.
So the question is, since I can't (legally) even carry pepper spray in NJ (it is a home defense item only) then wasp and hornet spray it might just be in the car! Always think like a cop - it's you job to get home safe at the end of the day. But as mentioned also, OBSERVATIONAL AWARENESS is so important - simple example, if you're parked near a van or suspicious vehicle, don't approach - set off the car alarm with your key ring. Let it blast, if there is a danger, they'll get out ASAP. And always lock your car doors when in it - people get ripped out of their cars every day because they never think to do it. And take 10 seconds as you are parking and when you park (even in your yard) to look around before unlocking your car and going in your home. You might just drive up on an invasion, or a neighbor chasing someone with a gun - all things to stay away from. The biggest safety IS between your ears, use it.